Having a support system can
have a huge impact on how you experience day-to-day life.
Research shows that
individuals who have robust support systems
• are more effective in all aspects of their lives;
• keep resolutions, particularly those involving their health and
physical well-being;
• weather personal and professional challenges more easily;
• are less likely to feel overwhelmed and find it easier to
maintain perspective;
• stay healthier on all levels — mentally, physically, and
emotionally;
• are less likely to feel isolated (which can lead to feelings of
despair and failure);
• experience less stress and burnout; and
• have children who are comfortable asking for and receiving help
from others.
In my own life and work,
I’ve seen the truth of this over and over: feeling supported while moving
through a transition or facing a challenging issue can make all the difference
in how you experience the journey — and how your family does as well.
Sarah, a mother of two,
confided, “When Bryan goes out of town for work for a week or longer, I know
solo parenting will be challenging. I have finally learned these are the times
I need to heap on the extra support. I usually ask my younger sister to babysit
one night during the week so I can enjoy a quiet dinner out with a girlfriend,
and I have our high school neighbor come over three nights during the week to
help with dinner, baths, and bedtime. I also make sure I have frozen dinners or
easy-to-prepare food in the house. I used to dread these business trips. I
would want to dump the kids on my husband the minute he returned from his trip
and run out the door to get some time for myself. It took a while, but I
finally learned that I just have to build in extra support when he’s away on a
trip. Now, not only are the weeks he’s traveling more peaceful and enjoyable,
but my husband returns to a family that’s happy to see him, rather than
resentful that he’s been away.”
However, our support
networks help us even when we don’t have a specific need. More than ever
before, we’re all craving community, and there are many benefits to gathering
in small, intentional groups to share and explore what matters most. Humans
have a strong desire to come together — not as a leisure-time luxury, but as a
necessity. We need each other. And we need “belly time” — not just texts or
Facebook updates.
• When we allow ourselves to
become vulnerable and open up to help, we embrace our interdependence and tap
into one another’s wisdom on the deepest level. We realize we’re one another’s
teachers.
• When going through a challenging time, reaching out to and
gathering with like-minded friends for authentic conversation helps us feel
validated and supported.
• Being with good friends who care deeply
about us reminds us who we really are. They help us
remember our stuff isn’t the “biggest thing that’s happening to us,” it’s just
the “biggest thing in this moment!”
• When we ask for help or gather in groups, we experience our
interconnectedness directly, so that we don’t feel alone.
• When we gather intentionally around a common theme, we realize
how much our experience is shared by others. Having our friends or community
articulate what we’ve been feeling in our own hearts can elicit an immediate
shift in perspective or an aha moment!
• The practice of being real, vulnerable, and deeply authentic in
front of others — as my mentor says, “showing up warts and all” — can be
amazingly cathartic and freeing!
• When women gather in groups, our physiology changes: our im-mune
systems and serotonin levels get a boost and we release oxytocin (the cuddle
hormone) — which results in us feeling calmer and happier overall.
Finally, the act of giving
and receiving support can be a spiritual practice. This is particularly true
during times of extreme need — just ask anyone who has faced a major illness or
has cared for a child with special needs. Occasionally, life forces us to
surrender to divine grace and call in the troops!
# # #
Life balance coach/speaker Renée
Peterson Trudeau is the author of the new book
Thousands of women in ten countries are
participating in Personal Renewal Groups based on her first book, the
award-winning The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal. Visit her online at www.ReneeTrudeau.com
.
Excerpted from
the new book Nurturing the Soul of Your Family ©2013 Renée Peterson
Trudeau. Published with permission of New World Library http://www.newworldlibrary.com
